Tattle-tale Classroom
by AJLKS
Summary: This very short story(?) is a retelling of the famous "Chururira Chururira Daddadda!" by Kurage-P, featuring Yuzuki Yukari. In short, it's about tattle-taling in school, a thing I'm sure has happened to many of you out there. Though in this case, it's gone several steps further... Warning, there's lots of emoticons, so if that's not your cup of tea, you've been warned. Enjoy!


Part 1: Teacher

Good morning students, and welcome to your first year of Tattertail High. Our school motto is "moral discipline, individual perfection, and outstanding academics". **(^_^** **)**

The average score across all subjects is 93.7% with a standard error of 1.8%. Tattertail High is the number one public high school in the prefecture, and is ranked among the top ten in the country. We have high expectations of you to maintain the school standards, so please work hard to achieve your full potential. We believe that the key to your future success is academic excellence. I am here to help you to that end, so if you have any problems with the subject material or class environment, feel free to contact me. **/** **(^_^** **)** **\**

Class starts at 7am and ends at 5pm, with ten minutes lunch break in the afternoon. After school clubs are banned, and we encourage students to remain for extra classes that last till 7pm. Smoking is prohibited on school grounds, eating and drinking is prohibited in the classroom. Non-academic materials such as mobile phones are banned from the classroom, so please leave them at home. The details are in your student handbooks; please make sure to read it very carefully. **(** **￣ロ￣** **)**

Tattertail High takes student wellbeing very seriously. If anyone witnesses any unruly behaviour, please report it to the teachers immediately. Similarly, if you suspect anyone of any suspicious activities, report it the teachers. By unruly, I mean actions that are a breach of school rules or public laws, aggressive and antisocial behaviour, and anything else that would be considered unbefitting of a Tattertail high school student. Again, please read your student handbooks to make sure you are aware of what is expected of you as students. **\** **(^_^** **)** **/**

Now, I'm sure you are all keen on getting started with class, but before that there is something I would like to ask. Here, see this bright red sash in my hand? This is the class rep's armband. That's right, I would like someone to volunteer as class rep. **o(** **〃＾▽＾〃** **)o**

A class rep's duty is to maintain order and discipline in the classroom, and to mediate between teaching staff and students. You will take class register before homeroom and at the end of the last lesson. You will ensure that the class is kept neat and tidy by assigning students on clean-up duty. You will also be responsible for setting a model example of a 'good student' to other students. **(** **・‿・** **)**

The role of a class rep is a very serious responsibility, so think very carefully if you wish to volunteer. Now then, would anyone like to volunteer? Let's see… no one!? Oh, might I have put everyone off?! **Σ(** **゜ロ゜** **;)**

Ahaha, sorry about that! It's not as bad as it sounds, really. I'm sure someone here is willing to do it. No? Really? Well, then there's a problem, because I must assign someone as class rep before we start class. If no one wants to volunteer, I'll have to randomly pick someone from the register. Last chance if anybody wants to volunteer? No one? **(o_o)"**

Alright then. Let's see… how about, you? **ヾ** **(** **〃^v＾** **)** **ﾉ**

Yes, you, the one at the back with twin tails. Oh, are you surprised? Hei please don't look like that, or it'll seem like I'm bullying you! **(´** **･** **д** **･** **`)**

Why you, you ask? Well, you seem like a responsible student. How can I tell? Well, I noticed that your uniform follows the school regulations to the letter. **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

Other schools allow girls to fold their skirts to shorten it, but yours is not and naturally reaches your knees, which is this school's dressing code for girls. Another dress code for girls is black socks no lower than the calves. Girls these days like to wear short socks, but on the other hand, you are wearing stockings even though it's spring. Girls, you should learn from her modesty. **\** **(^_^** **)**

Now then, please come forward to accept your sash. The sash goes around your left arm, here is a pin to fasten it. Take care of the sash and wear it with pride, it is now a very important piece of your attire. Why, it fits you perfectly! Well, it might be a bit too wide, but I'm sure you'll get used to it. Anyway, I look forward to working with you. Would the class stand to greet their new class rep? **ヾ** **(^_^** **)** **ﾉ**

Right, please take your seat, class rep. How, let's start class, shall we? **(^_^** **)** **/**

...

Part 2 : Class Rep

Seated at my desk, legs crossed and head hunched. In my hands is the handbook I'd gone through ten times. Pretending to read, I stare at the palm-sized notepad hidden between the pages. From time to time, my eyes drift up from the names written in the notepad. **(** **˵•** **́** **‸** **•** **̀** **)**

Roughly counting, there are 40 people about. Everyone's keeping their eyes peeled so that they won't miss even the smallest mistake. Quietly holding in my breath, I surveyed the vicinity. If you let your tail sip, it may be the end for you. **⌒(＾-°)v**

Welcome to the tattle-tale classroom.

While adamantly keeping my true feelings a secret, I kick down your pleas to keep this quiet. That's right, because I alone will survive! **s(^** **‿** **^)-b**

Well! Well! Isn't this suspicious behaviour? I must go tell teacher! Look here! Look here! There are SO MANY bad kids! **ヽ** **(;^o^** **ヽ** **)**

Come! Come! It's a wipe-out! The bad kids have all dropped down! And I won't stop till I'm the last one left! **\** **(^o^** **)/**

Chururira **(** **ﾉ ^_^** **)** **ﾉ** Chururira **ヽ** **(^_^** **ヽ** **)** Daddadda **(** **ﾉ^_^** **)** **ﾉ**

...

Just a little bit, it's gone down to just thirty people in this sealed classroom. Tension rushes through me, and I start to shiver. **〣** **(o_o)** **〣**

But wait! I found another one today! The idiot who revealed their true colours. I kick them down, and add their name to this blacklist class. **(^** **w** **^)**

Well! Well! What's this we have here? I caught some contraband and must show teacher! I'll put a knife in your perverted brain! **(** **•̀ω•́ )**

Come see! Come see! Another one has gone and **disappeared**! I won't stop till I'm the last one left! **⌒(＾-°)v**

Chururira **(** **ﾉ ^_^** **)** **ﾉ** Chururira **ヽ** **(^_^** **ヽ** **)** Daddadda **(** **ﾉ^_^** **)** **ﾉ**

...

Class, I have an announcement to make. You are aware of recent incidences of breaches in school rules recently, resulting in a number of our former classmates have been suspended. In view of this, I have a few words to say. **(** **︶︿︶** **)**

First, please repeat after what I say.

If I witness any unruly behaviour, I will report it to the class rep immediately! **(^** **‿** **^)**

If I witness any unruly behaviour, I will report it to the class rep immediately. **(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **(** **・** **_** **・** **)**

If I come across any suspicious activity, I will report it to the class rep immediately! **(^** **‿** **^)**

If I come across any suspicious activity, I will report it to the class rep immediately. **(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **(** **・** **_** **・** **)** **(** **・** **_** **・** **)**

Chururira **(** **ﾉ ^_^** **)** **ﾉ** Chururira **ヽ** **(^_^** **ヽ** **)** Daddadda **(** **ﾉ^_^** **)** **ﾉ**

Churururira **(** **・** **_** **・** **)** Chururira **(** **・** **_** **・** **)** Daddadda **(** **・** **_** **・** **)**

Chururira **ヽ** **(^_^** **ヽ** **)** Chururira **(** **ﾉ^_^** **)** **ﾉ** Daddadda **ヽ** **(^_^** **ヽ** **)**

 **CHURURICA_** **CHURURIRA_** **DADDADDA**

-Skipping class? Guilty! **(o** **_o** **"** **)**

-Disrespectful speech? Guilty! **(-`д´-** **｡** **)**

-Running in the hallways? Guilty! **(;** **﹏** **;)**

-Cutting in line? Guilty! **('0_0'** **)**

-Chewing gum? Guilty! **(*._.)**

-Inappropriate close contact between opposing genders? Guilty! **#(O** **_o)** **#**

-Daydreaming during lesson? Guilty! **Zzz…(-_-)Zzz…**

-Walking on the grass? Definitely guilty! **(** **ﾟ** **Д** **ﾟ** **)** **ゞ**

-Beat a bully in self-defence? Both guilty! _ **ლ('** **Д** **')** **ლ_** **ლ('** **Д** **')** **ლ_**

-Not holding stair handrails? Hands-down guilty! **┠_** **\** **(** **ﾟ** **д** **ﾟ** **\** **）**

-Laughing and talking too loud? **GUILTY**! **(** ಠ **_** ಠ **)**

And in all good time, it will just be me that survives. **⌒(＾-°)v**

Now then! Who's next? Who should I report to teacher this time!? **(^** **‿** **^)**

Oh my, no one's left? Classmate count at ZERO. **(˵°** **ᗜ** **°˵)**

Well! Well! It's a massacre! Teacher, **I'LL DO YOU IN TOO**! **(*•̀ᴗ•́*)** و **̑̑**

I won't stop till I'm the last one left~ **(** ๑ **˃̵ᴗ˂̵)**

Chururira **(** **ﾉ^_^** **)** **ﾉ** Chururira **ヽ** **(^_^** **ヽ** **)** Daddadda **(** **ﾉ^_^** **)** **ﾉ**

Chururira **ヽ** **(^_^** **ヽ** **)** Chururira **(** **ﾉ^_^** **)** **ﾉ** Daddadda **ヽ** **(^_^** **ヽ** **)**

The End

...

Notes:

Man this song's catchy, and Yukari-san looks amazing in the MV, especially those little smirks.

I quickly realized that words alone won't be enough to install the mood/tone of the song, and as they say 'a picture is worth a thousand words', so I added emoticons (for the first time!), which ended becoming a major part of this work. I hope they're not too difficult to interpret.

I tried to think of more 'guilty' things, but it's been awhile since leaving college and I've forgotten most of the sillier rules.

Do let me know what you think of this style (good, ok, terrible, etc.) via review or PM, and thanks so much for reading! **(^_^** **)**


End file.
